How Keeping Promises to Ourselves Nurtures Trust and Growth

 

Confidence is often thought of as the foundation upon which success and personal growth are built. It empowers us to face challenges, step outside our comfort zones, and achieve our goals. But what exactly is confidence, and how does it develop? Interestingly, the word "confidence" has its roots in the Latin term con-fide, meaning "with trust" or "with faith." This etymological origin reveals that confidence is fundamentally about trust—specifically, the trust we build in ourselves when we keep promises, follow through on commitments, and act in alignment with our values.

Confidence Through Trust: The Power of Con-Fide

The Latin roots of confidence tell us something crucial about its essence: it is cultivated through faith and trust. 

The word confidence comes from the Latin term "con-fidere." It is composed of two parts: "con" meaning "with" and "fidere" meaning "to trust" or "to have faith." Essentially, con-fidere translates to "with trust" or "with faith."

The root "fidere" is also found in words like "fidelity" (loyalty or faithfulness) and "fiduciary" (relating to trust, especially in financial matters). Over time, the term evolved from Latin into Middle French as "confidence," carrying the meaning of reliance on someone's integrity or abilities. It entered the English language in the 14th century with a similar meaning: trust in a person or thing and, later, trust in oneself—what we now know as self-confidence.

This etymological background reflects the idea that confidence is fundamentally about trust—whether trust in others or trust in oneself—emphasizing its connection to faith in one’s abilities, actions, and commitments.

When we think about trusting someone else, we often consider how reliable, honest, and consistent they are. The same principle applies when it comes to our relationship with ourselves. If we regularly break promises, procrastinate, or fail to meet our own expectations, we erode that trust. Conversely, keeping our commitments strengthens our belief in ourselves and boosts our self-confidence.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Rachel Goldman explains, “Every time you follow through on a promise to yourself, you prove that you can be relied upon. This builds self-efficacy and gradually nurtures your sense of confidence” . In other words, confidence is less about innate ability and more about developing self-trust over time through actions that align with our intentions and commitments.

Keeping Promises to Ourselves: A Confidence-Building Practice

One of the most effective ways to build confidence is by honoring the promises we make to ourselves. Whether it’s committing to daily exercise, learning a new skill, or following a new habit, consistently meeting these personal commitments sends a powerful message to our subconscious mind: “I can rely on myself.”

Research supports the connection between following through on goals and increased self-confidence. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that individuals who regularly set and achieved small, realistic goals reported a 20% increase in self-confidence over a six-month period . The success of these individuals wasn’t necessarily due to the size of the goals but to the consistency of action and the trust they built within themselves through repetition.

Furthermore, neuroscientists have discovered that keeping promises to ourselves triggers the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward and motivation. This chemical reaction not only reinforces positive behavior but also contributes to feelings of accomplishment and, ultimately, greater self-confidence. Psychologist Jordan Peterson suggests, “Confidence emerges from the accumulation of small victories. As you keep promises, you begin to believe you are capable of handling even bigger challenges” .

The Ripple Effect: Confidence Breeds More Confidence

The beauty of confidence is that it tends to snowball. The more we practice keeping promises to ourselves, the more capable and resilient we become. This creates a positive feedback loop: trust leads to confidence, and confidence leads to greater achievements, which in turn reinforces our sense of self-trust. A Gallup survey revealed that employees with high self-confidence were 31% more productive and experienced a 44% increase in overall well-being . This underscores the broader impact of confidence on both personal and professional outcomes.

While confidence may seem elusive at times, it is something we can all develop by nurturing trust in ourselves. By honouring our commitments—no matter how small—we send a powerful message to our subconscious that we are capable, reliable, and worthy of success. Confidence isn’t something bestowed upon us; it’s something we build through daily actions that align with our goals and values. Start by making—and keeping—small promises to yourself, and watch your confidence grow.

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References:

1. Dr. Rachel Goldman on the importance of self-efficacy in confidence-building, 2020.
2. American Psychological Association study on goal-setting and confidence, 2018.
3. Jordan Peterson’s theory on confidence emerging from small victories, 2019.
4. Gallup survey on confidence and productivity, 2020.

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