Seven Pillars of Value for Men #motivation#personaldevelopment
If you feel that 'masculinity' is an endangered concept, it may be worthwhile asking 'What can anyone do to save it?" Is it the 'job' of life coaching to try?
Also it is worth acknowledging that some people out there don't want to save it - they see 'it' as 'toxic' , for example. I was thinking about what it is that makes 'masculinity' worthwhile. For example, if a person were to argue that 'masculinity' is a social construct, the inference is that, because 'masculinity' is not an innate characteristic, then it requires to be reconstructed.
Often the reconstructed version proposed is that such people simply adopt 'feminine' values. Often on the basis that such values are somehow purer or more innate. This is called 'Having a bob each way'. I.e. proposing that innate gender-characteristics are a reality, but only for those that are acceptable to the proposer.
Another take is that the proposer considers feminine qualities, learned or otherwise as having innately superior characteristics that every male should aspire to. But I would argue that men and women are different and trying to force a square peg into a round hole will have negative consequences.
So, neatly overlooking that if masculine values are socially constructed, then logically, so must feminine values be. So, suppressing masculinity becomes an imposition of characteristics viewed through a specific lens. That lens appears to absolve the person doing the imposing from any requirement to justify why their lens is more accurate than the one they are discarding.
Photo by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash
This is not an attempt to disqualify 'feminine' qualities (constructed or innate). Rather it is an attempt to evaluate what values or characteristics any right thinking person who wishes to reclaim their autonomy might adopt.
I have drawn up 'Seven Pillars of Growth' with men (and women) in mind:
#1: Self Awareness - a basis of our philosophical tradition coined by Socrates was "Know thyself".
#2: Awareness of others - as Mother Theresa said: “Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.”
#3: Meaning - synonymous with 'purpose' in my view as Victr Frankl believed - meaning came from three possible sources: purposeful work, love, and courage in adversity.
#4: Learning - once we replace the redundant concept of 'failure' with the active one of 'learning' we can advance ourselves to success. Forget failure - get motivation.
#5: Resilience - this is the ability to get bent out of shape and get back into state.
#6: Forgiveness - it starts with forgiving oneself, and ripples out to others.
#7: Presence - also known as 'mindfulness' - learn to appreciate 'now'. Stop and consider what you have, and what you are.
More of this in the future....
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