Do You Suffer "The Solomon Paradox"? #personaldevelopment#lifecoaching

 

King Solomon was famed as having great wisdom. We’ve all heard the story of how he recommended splitting the baby between two women who both claimed to be the mother, and working out who the real mother was by who protested loudest.  And yet, Solomon’s personal life was a mess. He could have benefitted from some life coaching and personal development!

(pic: King Solomon in Older Age – Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon)

His foibles included:

Excessive Polygamy (love the addition of ‘excessive’ to polygamy!):

One of Solomon's notable mistakes was his accumulation of a large number of wives, often for political alliances. Despite being explicitly warned in the Bible against marrying foreign women who might lead him astray from worshiping God, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

To fund his ambitious building projects, including the construction of the magnificent Temple in Jerusalem, Solomon imposed heavy taxes and forced an oppressive taxation and labour policy on the Israelites which contributed to the eventual rebellion against Solomon's son.

Solomon's later years saw a decline in his commitment to following his God's commandments, and led him to worship other gods. His son, Rehoboam, inherited a divided kingdom and eventually lost the ten northern tribes.

And so we can see “The Solomon Paradox” as a cognitive and emotional distance that we experience when dealing with their own problems compared to when we offer advice to others.

A better way is to approach any situation objectively, analysing it rationally and offering pragmatic solutions. However, when facing our own challenges, emotions, biases, and personal attachments often cloud our judgment. Does this sound like anyone you know?

Because personal involvement in a situation can lead to heightened emotional responses, making it challenging to maintain objectivity. You may have a clearer understanding of the broader context when advising others, but struggle to see the bigger picture when facing your own dilemmas.  The inherent complexity and uncertainty can make decision-making more challenging, especially when emotions are involved.

Overcoming the Solomon Paradox requires a combination of:

·       self-awareness,

·       mindfulness, and

·       strategic decision-making.

So, Let’s consider some ideas.

How’s Your Self-awareness?

Your self-awareness is crucial for recognizing your Solomon Paradox. Regular self-reflection, mindfulness practices, and an understanding of personal biases can help.

Can You Cultivate Emotional Distance?:

One can cultivate emotional distance by stepping back and analyzing the situation as if you are advising a friend, allowing for more objective evaluations.

Can You Access Good Advice?

Seeking advice from trusted friends, family members, or mentors can provide valuable external perspectives. They can offer insights and can serve as a reality check.

Do You Have a Decision-making Framework?

Applying decision-making frameworks might involve cost-benefit analysis or the pros and cons method. They provide a systematic approach to evaluating options, reducing the influence of emotions on decision-making.

Can You Delay?

It can be beneficial to reflect and gather additional information allows for a more informed and less emotionally charged decision.

Can You Rewire Your Brain?

Challenge and reframe negative thought patterns that may contribute to the emotional intensity of a situation. By consciously altering your perspective, you might cultivate more balanced and rational approaches to decision-making.

What Are Your Personal Boundaries?

Ensuring that personal challenges do not spill over into professional responsibilities can aid in making more rational decisions.

What Are Your Develop Decision-making Rituals?

Do you have established routines or rituals before making significant decisions? This simple hack can create a sense of structure and control. Setting aside dedicated time for reflection, journaling, or seeking input from others, may be the key you have been seeking.

The Solomon Paradox highlights one of our fundamental challenges:  how to apply the wisdom we reserve for others to our personal situations.

Overcoming this paradox requires a combination of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and strategic decision-making. Cultivating these skills and implementing practical strategies, can enhance your ability to make wiser choices in your own life, and align your actions more closely with the valuable advice you often readily and selflessly offer to others.